head on, flap : I am gifted - and this is often more of a punishment than a gift from Linda
Lahl (22 years) from Hoya
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I am highly gifted. I fall just the same times with the door into the house. Although not a gifted would do that in real life. He would not go to his friends and say, "Hey, sometimes hears her all, I am smarter than you!". What does that mean if someone as a "gifted" means?
first time that he had a Intelligence quotient of 130 points added. Where 100 of the average and one under 80 is stupid, one is from 130 just a wise move. The majority of society has high ability only in relation to school children. They're either nerds or precocious always jittery and write extremely bad grades or get bored in school and skip classes.
Furthermore, there were already reports to exhaustion on television. What is at the stories of these young geniuses but often forgotten: Giftedness does not dissolve when you are out of primary school. It remains as an incurable disease that accompanies a his life. No matter what you do. Why do I call giftedness as a disease? Because it's for people like me is one thing. It stands in fact solve contrary to popular belief not only in skills such as very serious math tasks can, but also the unusual feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
discovered with me, giftedness no one when I was at school. I was a mediocre student. I considered myself even more stupid than the others: I did not understand the simplest facts, came with the easiest things in the world can not cope. I passed my A-levels only average and had great fear of failure in the study. I never would have thought I could perhaps even be smarter than others. When I was studying for a semester, dropped out and lay down a lightning career, I felt like an impostor: Something had to be some mistake. Studies with a broken and mediocre Abidurchschnitt to get such a dream job - I was always sure I would fly up at some point.
Only a few months ago I made a test with a gifted club Mensa. The result: I am smarter than 98 percent of the company.
I doubt. Never could apply to me - but I find most of the time prefer clumsy and easily confused by the world. I bought literature, reading articles and browsing in Internet forums. I could not believe it: Because people told stories fit exactly on me. As they had asked their lives long, what was wrong with them. How misunderstood and leprous, they felt, among others. As reported in the school and in their careers, have fluctuated between grueling self-criticism and complete review. I was not alone. The others were ashamed and told anyone about the diagnosis. On the one hand, the result was a relief for me: I finally had explanations for my strange moods. I suddenly understood why Small Talk is for me the worst thing in the world. I learned why I am talking to others often do not understand why I was strange looks when I bring myself in discussions. I have other thoughts structures. I, for example, issues and points to skip that strike me as perfectly logical, the other people but as soon not be able to conceive.
And giftedness also means high-sensitivity, I think, feel and understand more of what is happening around me. My friends like me, probably that's why: I can not express their feelings and thoughts that arise and do respond to it. Although their problems for me are mostly irrelevant.
On the other hand, giftedness is a punishment. My life revolves constantly about whether I will meet my high expectations ever. I set myself goals that are highly unrealistic, and I am my biggest critic on the way there. It's a pain, connect with strangers, a pain in certain areas to be so talented that I screw down the level of need, if I rate them. I will always have to live with the fact that I get bored pretty fast, always on the lookout for new challenges will be, can exert a job probably no more than five years and always with the danger of live, sometime in the burnout cancer.
It makes me angry but also that I must step back and understand. Understand that others are not able to follow me. Feel that every boss in the world reduced would, I would tell him. I have to live with the fact that I have to be considerate of others and their pace, that integrates alcoholics and criminals rather than understood and pitied me. I sometimes feel like a leper, and will also be treated when I speak honestly about my giftedness. Intelligence is not something one can boast. Anyone who publicly expresses something meets with rejection. Has to prove itself in battle of wits or listen to that IQ tests are not even so sure. That you do not know could be so smart, because you've put down any high school with 1.0.
All these things lead to a paradoxical view of the world: I do not feel better, smarter or talented - I feel bad, excluded, like an impostor. I am always keen to work as unobtrusively as possible, never to give colleagues the opportunity to expose myself to as a "swot". I often worse than I could hold myself out of discussions - do anything to avoid being so exposed. Is that what society wants: exclude those that could create a lot, it may not because someone else would feel this bad?
Source: http://www.kreiszeitung.de/magazin/specials/chilli/chili-hochbegabt-1031544.html
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